Off the Rack

June 6, 2009 by admin.

She tentatively steps out of the bright sunlight
Her eyes straining to adjust to being inside
Seeing the store owner, she smiles to be polite
- But eyes show the uncertainty she cannot hide

This is not her first time wondering through these aisles
She has been here before but made no decisions
The space is not large, yet her browsing covers miles
Each item leads her to make mental revisions

This is a shop replete with opportunity
On every rack and shelf are the outfits of life
Each offers a means to join the community
By filling roles such as doctor, teacher or wife

Options seem endless in this concentrated space
Jackets, hats and shoes cover the walls and the floor
To select well will require wisdom and grace
As there is no option to just choose to buy more

Purchases made in this strange little store are constrained
To the weight you can carry and what you can hold
Each choice requires effort, you have to be trained
Too many selections and you’ll feel tired, old

So she stands and considers what she should do now
Her clothing from former days-gone-by is in rags
It must be replaced.  She needs to choose what she’ll allow
The storekeeper to give her and place in her bags

With a knowing smile, the shopkeeper leans to her ear,
“Try them all on, all the ones you think you will like.”
She stops and stares, the prospect calms a little fear
She had not known that they would not all fit alike

The first was too bulky, it hung loose on her frame
The second and third were either short or too tight
The fourth was a style that made her face red with shame
The fifth was tacky with colors bold and bright

The sixth one looked lovely and breezy on the rack
But on her, it was misshapen and would not do.
Each item she tried felt like a brutal attack
Nothing seemed to match her shape, not even a shoe

“This is terrible!” she sobbed from the dressing room,
“I’m fit for nothing at all in this world of outfits!
How can I grow, prosper, and eventually bloom
When it looks like I’m made as one of the misfits?”

Slowly, calmly, in His own compassionate way
The Shopkeeper attended, He came and knocked,
“Come, open the door and I will end your delay.
I have what you wanted, I’ve kept it safe and locked.”

She did as He had asked and through teary vision
She saw fabric draped across His outstretched arm
Unlike what she saw while making her decision
It was light yet cozy, full of beauty and charm

Before her eyes, she saw Him cut from a design
At the top of the page, what surprise, was her name!
He quickly stitched all the pieces, missing no line
And held the result for her to see and acclaim

She tried it on and, what wonder, it was perfect
Obviously every detail was made exactly for her
The color, the size, the style and cut were correct
Even in details she did not know to prefer

“How did you do this?” she gasped to the Man, in great awe
“I was made all wrong for everything in the store!”
“Ah,” He answered, “you thought that meant you had a flaw.
Choosing from other options is a useless chore.”

“I am a tailor; I do not sell standard ware.
Each item must be carefully crafted anew.
You were not made to fit some fashionable flair
No, dearest, it is meant to be shaped to fit you.”

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Closure

February 7, 2009 by admin.

Are you ready for closure in some area of your life?  I know I am.  When I go through a difficult time in any area, I just wait for the end date.  I’ve noticed that I fully expect such a day to come - as though it is like the last day of the semester for a class I didn’t like in school.  Once that day comes, I expect that I can have closure and be done with it.  Hopefully I got a good grade, but even if not, it’s over either way.

The frustrating part is that real life does not always work like this. I have had relationships wounded that I keep hoping will miraculously heal. I continue deal with issues of security and wanting to know if I’m on the right track. This gone on for years. I keep waiting for the celebration day of sadness to be over and constant rejoicing to begin. All the hurt of the past should be resolved.  All those questions about work and school should be answered. If these were courses in college, I’d be done by now. I keep realizing how I expect that God’s semesters of teaching me each of His ways will have end dates. Not exactly consciously, but I keep thinking that if I didn’t like the struggle, it will end either way.

Maybe there is no last day of class.  There is no final grade.  We just continue to move on.

Recently, I’ve been typing up a test for the intro psychology class I teach. The chapter covers the difference between Sensation, what you actually see, and Perception, how your brain interprets it.  Often, the interpretation part makes what you actually see fit to what you expect to see.  (Sidenote: This is why visual illusions work, your brain is trying to make an image fit to how it should normally look, even though the picture doesn’t actually follow normal rules.)

Looking at an example of the “Principle of Closure” (see picture), it’s interesting that the perceptual experience of closure has to be inferred.  The circles are not actually complete, but I see them and the triangle anyway (although it’s technically not there). My mind is able to accept what looks incomplete and find a larger picture there - if I let it.

I believe sometimes closure in all those areas of life works like this too. We know there are still loose ends. Not everything comes together. Not every problem is solved. It doesn’t always just go away. But by the grace of God, who gave our minds the ability to see beyond what is physically there, we can get more than the answers we seek. We can get a big picture glimpse of God Himself. And to that, I pray there is no closure.

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Daffodils

January 5, 2009 by admin.

  Last fall, I planted daffodils.  I carefully dug holes to the proper depth and added a little richer soil than the red clay in most of the yard.  I put them in, covered them up and thought of the joy they would be in the spring, bursting with color before anything else.  I tried to forget about them, but I simply could not.  I watered them.  I made sure no one walked on them.  Even with no evidence of how they were doing, I thought of them enduring the cold winter safely in the ground in order to be ready for spring.
Now it is early January.  The winter weather has been strange, it was cold earlier than usual, but before Christmas, and especially after it has been unusually warm - even for the south.  But it is still early January and the coldest is yet to come.  I know that.  I see the calendar and pay attention to weather reports.
Unfortunately, as I decided to do a little yard sprucing-up recently I noticed that the little bulbs I had tended were now popping up through the ground with bright green leaves shooting high.  Daffodils are early bloomers and sturdy plants, but early January is still before their proper time.
“No, little daffodils!”  I wanted to tell them, “It’s not time yet, there are still many frosts to come, maybe snow.  It will be cold.  Stay hidden and safe!”  But they can’t understand my message.  So I brushed a little of the remaining pine needles over them and hope they brave through.  I sigh and think how it would have been easier for them to wait at least a month or so to start showing their new leaves.

But I identify with my early daffodils wanting to declare a new season and move ahead.  They took cues from the weather; it seemed warm for a time.  I take cues from my environment as well.  When I want a season of learning or a season of testing or a season of growing to be over, I look for any clue that I can claim as a sign that it is time to move on.  And sometimes it’s just too early.

For the last year or so I have spent untold time struggling with wanting security and wanting the days of not knowing my career path to end.  God has taught me many things along the way and has always been faithful to provide everything I’ve needed and more, but still the training to trust Him has seemed long.  Looking back, I think how precious that time has been, valuable more than wealth.  But every so often during that time, I declared that the season must be over and surely it was time for me to move on.  When I heard of a job or continued education that sounded interesting to me, I saw glimmers of sunshine and felt the warmth of spring, or what I thought was spring since I was tired of my personal winter.  I saw others with less education and experience finding their own careers.  Not wanting to miss any opportunities, I tried my hardest to send out my own leaves.  I immersed myself in each new direction and imagined myself there.  If believing or hoping for good changes was all that is needed for them to happen, I would be on one of those paths now.
Yet, God knew I needed to wait, to sit still for a “winter” rather than always trying to bloom.  When I stuck a leaf out, He probably sighed as I did with my daffodils and lovingly protected me from storms ahead.  But He didn’t turn January into Spring.  He has his own plans for me and has designed my life to follow order, which includes Springs and Summers, but also Autumns and Winters.  Each time I try to jump ahead of that timetable uses energy and puts me at risk of future storms.

Bulbs for some flowers need to be planted in Autumn so that they have a winter to build a complete root system.  When spring finally comes, they are established and ready to grow.  So, for now, I am being aware of my root system (my character, habits, skills, attitudes, knowledge base) and letting the time to grow up and out come in due season.

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Looking beyond the chariots

December 9, 2008 by trulyaccepted.

Last time I wrote about boasting in people rather than God.  Another translation of Psalms 20:7 says that “some trust in chariots and some in horses” (NIV).  This change of wording has a different implication for me to think about.  The kings that David faced had big armies and fancy weapons.  David knew his enemies had better odds of winning and that they believed an easy win was assured. He was scared.  Rationally so too.  You probably know what this feels like.  It’s like talking to someone about a job you don’t have the education for, a house you don’t have the money for, a part in a play you aren’t talented enough to get.  David should expect to be beaten down, maybe facing his own and his friends’ deaths under his leadership.

But then a remarkable thing happens.

David is reminded that the Lord is His Provider.  David can trust solely in what his God will do, completely and sharply distinct from the physical appearance of things.  He could have had nothing but untrained children with only sticks and stones to throw.  David knew personally that even a child with a rock would be enough.  If God wanted to see His chosen ones prosper, the ways and means were not a hindrance.  David didn’t have to bother worrying over the battle, I imagine he may even have chalked up some time spent seeking his Lord’s face as battle preparation.

I see myself facing some battles that I seem ill-equipped to handle.  I’m looking for a job although I have little experience in the field and stopped school short of the degree I’d expected.  Throw in the difficult job market and economic issues now, and it’s just looks all uphill.  I’m trying to write more, to share some of the amazing things God teaches me daily, although my freshmen English professor told me I didn’t have the mind of a writer.  In the vast world of words online, I’m less than the size of rest area along the highway, although I hope to be at least a bench where someone can sit and chat.  These issues are two of the opposing armies I’m seeing.  I haven’t seen the outcome yet, but praise the Lord I don’t have to keep staring my problems!  It has taken me a little longer than it probably took David, but God has patiently been calling me to trust in Him alone, not in the lay of the land ahead.

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Something to Boast About

December 8, 2008 by trulyaccepted.

Boast = to speak of with excessive pride
Boasting is about sharing what gives you pride, or that which makes you proud of it.  Do you have anything to boast about?

The economy, wars, and uncertainty of our times have motivated many people to change what they boast in.  Commentators say that the holidays this year will focus more on family and people than in many years.  We have trusted in money, stocks, jobs, positions, real estate, and the government - and been burned.  So now, having learned the error of our ways, we’ve decided to go back to finding pride in ourselves and those around us.  The acquired talents, earned education, and natural abilities that we possess will now be our focus.  We will pay more attention to ourselves and each other, marveling in what everyone can do.  Collectively, we start to think, “Oh, how silly that was to think that money would make me happy.  Prestige wasn’t working out too well either.  Well, fine.  I’ve got myself - and I’m great, and I have those who care about me.  Enjoying each other is what makes life worthwhile.”  How sweet.  Kinda nervous-thud-in-the-pit-of-my-stomach sweet.

Boasting in material wealth was a problem.  Ok.  Good to know.  But we have to be careful about learning the actual lesson these difficult economic times are teaching us.

People are precious and valuable.  They should get our love, care and attention.  But could they become a source of pride?  And if so, is anything wrong with that?  We can boast of our families of origin, spouses, children, grandchildren, co-workers and friends.  A little of this is certainly good and is encouraging.  But what happens when our lives become about the prestige of a spouse’s position - and then it is lost.  Or the potential success of our children - who end up either doing little with their lives or not finding the time to visit or call.  What about the powerful or well-known friends who then forget us - or even the kind ones with whom we just lose touch? Is that what we are left with from our boasting?  People are important, but have the potential to fall away faster than the economy.

What about ourselves?  There, we have more control, no big surprises.  We have long known (at least in theory) that pride in ourselves is a bad idea.  We know that literally boasting about ourselves is rude.  But a new kind of boasting is emerging.  It is boasting without a word.  It is building yourself up to be beautiful and organized, informed and worldly, contemplative and artistic, all in your own strength.  So people look at you and see … you - accomplished, cool-headed and prepared for success.  This one is easy to trap at least me.  The boasting is spoken through volumes of actions in my life.  I boast in wanting others to think I’m doing all the right things to make me happy.  I boast in wanting them to see how well I can do for myself.  And what proud boasting (internally) when I don’t want people over because the house isn’t clean and smelling of homemade bread?  Blek!

So take more time for yourself, your friends and family, enjoy them.  But boast in what is perfect and unchangable, the only unwavering existence.  Boast not in the world or the people in it, but boast - oh, yell it out and get all prideful - boast in the Lord.

“Some nations boast of their armies and weapons, but we boast in the LORD our God.” Psalms 20:7

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Homecoming

December 4, 2008 by trulyaccepted.

People use the term, “home” in different ways.  When I was in college, most students referred to home to mean their dorm room as well as the place where their families lived.  After a long day of classes or projects, a roommate might say she was ready to go home and imply she wanted to head back to the place with her bed.  Conversely, I always refused to call any campus housing “home.”  The word home was reserved for the house I had lived in my whole life, where my parents were.  I continued to refer to that alone as home until I had my own townhouse years later.  Now, this house I share with my husband is my home.

Some people refer to visiting their parents and the town they grew up in as “going back home” even when they have their own families elsewhere. I think I’m just not the type to have multiple homes.  Just the place where I most long to be when I’m tired or cold or lonely or scared.  That’s home.  Home is a place to be vulnerable and wear comfy clothes.  It’s a place I can think and get to know myself.  It’s a place where I fit; I match the decor and it reflects me.  A home has an impact on the people that live there and they bring it life.  It is a current and fluid relationship.

But I notice something else about my feelings toward home.  No matter how safe or how much belonging I feel there, there is still a longing.  It’s an ache that comes and goes and kinda reminds me of being on long school trips or camping as a child.  I may like where I am, but I miss where I belong.  I’m homesick.  No matter how perfect the scene with family or friends gathered around a meal or a conversation, there’s always something missing.  Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy these fun times tremendously, I laugh and talk and eat way more than I should.  Yet, there are times my attention is drawn away, Jesus calls softly to my heart, and I can’t help but realize that only heaven is truly home.  And I want to be there….

This world has many things going for it - but careful if you don’t stop and think about what you’re really looking for.  You can have a lovely house, fill it with light and warmth, people and music, entertainment and beauty.  It will be enchanting.  It could also be very distracting.  It may seem inviting when you are tired, but it will not refresh your soul.  It may be filled with aromatic food, but you will continue to be hungry.  You will start to reflect the place you call home, and if you are too settled in this world, it will show to those around you.

No matter how much you enjoy your home or the homes you visit this season, remember they are here for just a short time.  Ask God to reveal His idea of home for you.  Go ahead and start thinking of going there when you are tired.  Try filling up on the Bread offered at Jesus’ table.  Reflect the home you were meant to have, though not there yet.  And it’s okay to be homesick sometimes.

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Isaiah 61:1

December 3, 2008 by trulyaccepted.

Poetry inspired by the Word:

“… the LORD has anointed me… to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners…”

 ——-

Softly, quiet as the noise of crunching snow,

The night is waning to the new day’s glow.

Arising from over the tall spruce trees

White light beams, diffusing winter’s stone freeze.

Ice crystals creak as each is compromised.

The bright Sun leaves every shadow baptized.

 

Under the snow are found old rusty chains,

Shackles and cages – captivity’s remains.

But no prisoner is found.  No enslaved soul.

The darkness is gone from every deep hole.

The bars have been broken, bent and cut.

Every lock is open, no trap is left shut.

 

For hope of the day, the early burst of dawn,

Woke the hostage, who was not too far gone

To stir to life and lift her weary head,

To listen and hear what message was said.

It rang from the sky, came from across the sea,

“Trust Me, child.  You are healed and set free!”

 

Despite temptation to cover her ears

She had slowly stood and faced all those fears:

Of being rejected and insecure

Of holding more pain than she could endure

Of losing the battle she alone fought.

She began to surrender every thought.

 

As the Sun melted the ice from her heart,

The doors swung open so she could depart.

Her battle had not been with flesh or bone,

But her own belief of Christ to atone.

After the night of sad remorse was through

The captive left to use what she now knew:

 

The love of the Lord is worth more than life.

His peace satisfies, even amid strife.

Worries and wonders can lead you astray,

But honest repentance keeps guilt at bay.

No matter your past, it is just history

The beauty Christ forms is a mystery.

 

And so, my fellow travelers, listen

During this winter of indecision.

The walls that you build and places you hide

To keep others out only keep you inside.

The prison is lonely and full of lies

And you cannot leave ‘til you’ve opened eyes.

 

***

Remember during this Advent season,

The Coming we wait for has a reason –

It is Christ and His freedom that we need.

Open to His call and be free indeed!

You can wait for a perfect escape day

Or choose now –  be a Glorious display!

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What will I teach you?

December 2, 2008 by trulyaccepted.

I’ve been thinking about becoming a teacher and the influence that teachers have on the lives of their students.  The few classes I have taught have been good experiences that I really enjoyed.  I’m energized when students become excited about what I have been excited about.  I get to share my thoughts and interests as well as information that has become meaningful to me.  I get to share the learning that changed my life in order to change the lives of others.  The essential work of a teacher is to “rub off” on others.  Students go to school and take classes in order to learn what a teacher knows, which is learning to be like the teacher in that area of study.  Usually, the influence does not stop with textbook knowledge though.  We all tend to remember teachers that influenced us in other ways.  Teachers we wanted to be like or admired personally.  We get more from teachers than we expect and they teach more than they realize.

But this is also true of everyone around us, not just the official teacher - student relationship.  We teach our family, friends, and co-workers all the time.  We teach them what matters to us and how we feel about others and our situations.  As social beings, we all learn how to act and what to believe by those around us.  Not only does this mean that we can tell each other how we want them to behave or what we like, but we also learn from the examples around us - and create an example for others.  We often unconsciously teach our children to resent or value the things that we do.  We teach our co-workers what matters about our work by the way we do our jobs.  We teach our spouses what respect means to us by the way we treat them.

Regardless of my profession, I have to realize that I teach every day.  As long as someone sees me, interacts with me, or hears what I say, I am a teacher.  I can help get others excited by what excites me just by sharing that.  Daily, I am an example of what I believe and value.

I can choose the “right” answer objectively as to what I think I should esteem, but do I teach you that by the way I live?  Is my life the example and most important parts of what I want people to know about me?  If not, my contradictions render me useless.  Be the example.  Realize the message you teach.

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Playing to Win

November 3, 2008 by trulyaccepted.

I taught a chess class today.  Nearly an hour was spent with two kindergartners trying to grasp the basics of the game. The main problem was that they didn’t really want a grasp of the basics. They wanted to win. Period. Joining the class, sitting through a lesson, setting up the pieces had only one purpose: to cheer “checkmate” and grab the opposing king off the board. But they often forgot how the pieces move. They struggled with no idea which pieces were best to move. They cried and whined with each piece lost. And they failed to learn that you never actually take your opponent’s king off the board in a real game of chess.

The desire to win was so strong that these two young friends resorted to alternating between making fun of the other and lamenting that defeat was the only option for themselves. Interestingly, they often were both upset about losing at the same time. If they were not far ahead of the other player, they were losing.  Losing is about perspective. As the chess teacher, I intervened just enough to help each player keep taking pieces (so they would see how to make those moves), to keep it interesting (so they wouldn’t lose heart if nothing seemed to be happening), and so that they were nearly tied the whole game (which led to them both believing they were losing).  Although they were getting some assistance, I was happy to see the boys playing their best game yet.  They were making good moves.  This was what mattered to me because this would help them in the long run.  I thought they were both winning in important ways.  Chess is useful to help develop strategic thinking, planning ahead, problem solving, patience, and discipline. These higher level skills develop only after you understand the basics of the game.  Unfortunately, my two students didn’t care.  They were so concerned about counting how many pieces had been taken that they missed the bigger lessons (and they forgot to have fun).

I realize these two children are young and this kind of behavior is expected from them at times.  Yes, we grow up and realize there are some things we must learn before we can benefit and really enjoy many experiences.  So we get driving lessons before taking off in the car.  We go to school for years to be prepared for a job.  We listen to weekly sermons on right living and seeking God. We get all set up - just how my students started out - but once the game starts, do we just go for the win and maybe miss the purpose of our own life games?  I think there is more to life than achieving our goals.  That’s a big statement.  We can set excellent goals for ourselves: an inviting home, loving family, numerous friends and a successful career. Don’t get me wrong, these things are good.  But is it possible that solely aiming for the end product is getting in the way of other goals God may have for our lives?

The more I learn about God’s ways, the more I tend to see that they are not like mine (”For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:8-9)!  I look at life the way I’ve been taught by the world and my own selfish nature: to strive for good things and rejoice when they come my way.  I don’t know that I’d feel I’d lost anything if the perfect job, house, and even family just appeared one day and I could feel successful.  But I would have missed out on the bigger lessons that are the real point of this game.  Thankfully, God knows me well enough to not just hand me every desire of my heart at once.  I would dash for them, declare myself the winner, and not need my Teacher anymore.

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Live Out Your Days

August 4, 2008 by trulyaccepted.

It’s amazing to me how quickly the hours and days disappear. I hardly need to explain that concept because as far as I can tell, you’ve felt the same way.

Recently, my husband and I went away for a few days of vacation. As we drove back home, I was sad to see it end and reflected on the wonderful time with no computers or responsibilities. My husband couldn’t wait to get back and wanted to spend the car ride discussing webpages and job ideas. I couldn’t believe he wanted to spoil the last few hours of enjoyment! This was not my idea of the way to return from a relaxing vacation, already anticipating the buzz and daily routine before we had to. A little probing (okay, complaining on my part) led to a longer discussion that revealed his idea about vacationing. He doesn’t really see the point. For him, each day is good and there is no reason to want to get away. He likes what he does, he likes thinking about it, and he likes to share and discuss those ideas.  He was excited to be getting back to his normal life.

That blew me away.

I tend to think I need more time to really enjoy life, to do the things I feel I need to do and then fit in what I want to do.  I want more hours in the day, more days of vacation, more time to enjoy - but then I fail to enjoy and make the most of the time I have.

Every single day is life, and a life that I think I am living abundantly!  So why should I want to leave it all and hope to just get away from it?  If my life is Sunday - Saturday of every week, I’ve got to make the most of Monday-Friday as well as the weekends.

Our days are what we make of them.  Just enough time, not too much.  I’m trying to live them out accordingly.

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